When Boris Met Natasha
by PrincessButtercup83
Summary: Two people on the cusp of becoming something more. First of its kind!


Okay.

I really don't know where this came from. I sat down to work on 'Hysteria', and this came out instead. It's really just a goofy little one-shot, but I hope you guys like it!

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He senses her before he actually sees her.

It always happens like this, every day for as long as he's known her. Her scent hits his nostrils, and his eyes close almost involuntarily for a moment before scolding himself mentally. He knows the expression that will be on her face when she finally reaches him. He will get a tepid smile and a sarcastic smirk. For now, it will have to do.

Because until he can tells her what she does to him, how she makes him feel, this is all there is.

"Hey," she greets him as she drops into the seat opposite him. He smiles at her in response. "Pizza day," she notes before lifting a slice to her mouth.

"Yeah," he agrees weakly, his eyes fixed on her features. He's waiting, always waiting for some sign from her. He knows it's pathetic and at some point, it will actually bite him in the ass. Frankly, it has disaster written all over it. She could ruin him, crush him like a bug if she so chose to at any point. He chews thoughtfully, waiting for her to start a conversation.

"How's your thing?" she finally asks after minutes of silence.

"It's good," he answers amiably.

A sound coming from their left causes them both to glance over, equal looks of hatred apparent on their faces to anyone who was walking by. As always, he's in the middle of some long-winded diatribe on the invention of the butter knife or where the custom of putting napkin dispensers on tables derived from.

"Pretentious douche," she intones glancing back at her plate.

He knows they agree on all matters relating to the jerk, it was one of the things that had drawn him to her in the first place. At first, it had just been a sort of admiration of her. She was actually very smart, and beyond that, she had the ability to turn even the smartest men into gaping idiots. He was not even sure of when that admiration had turned into something else. It had been slow and subtle. At first, just noticing that she smelled nice. Observing how her hair fell into her face. Then, it was how her clothes hung on her form. It wasn't until he started having dreams about her, naked and willing, that he had started to think there might be something to this interest he was showing in her. "I would love nothing more than to staple his mouth shut."

"Hot glue would be more painful," she adds in a flat tone. He grins at her and when she returns it, he feels his heart skip a beat. He silently berates himself for acting like such a girl around her. He knows how to be cool, he's actually probably one of the slickest guys in the entire department. It's just a matter of actually acting like it.

Yeah, he can definitely do cool.

"If you're interested," he says without managing to look at her, "I'm going to be fighting my robot this weekend again and you could finally have a chance to see him in action."

She stares at him blankly for a moment. "You really are a loser, aren't you?" He feels his cheeks getting red and lifts his soda can to his mouth to distract her from his obvious blush of embarrassment.

"Whatever," he answers in an indifferent tone.

"Hey," a voice calls from behind her and she turns to take in the man.

"Hey, Leonard." She gives him the same disinterested smile.

"Okay, so…" Hofstader seems unsure of the next thing to say. He looks between the two of them. "I was wondering…" There is fidgeting and inability to make any sort of eye contact, which means that Leonard is clearly about to ask her out.

He feels ill.

"Are you free for dinner this Saturday?"

And then, something miraculous happens.

Her eyes flit to his for the briefest of moments. It's subtle, but it does happen and all three of them realize it. "Um," she stalls as she turns toward him. "Look, you know it could never work out, Leonard. We have fundamental problems." She thinks for a moment. "And your roommate needs to be tied to a gurney somewhere. But thanks for asking," she adds with a smile. He watches Leonard's face fall and feels perversely good about it. The short man seems confused about what just happened, but nods anyway before rejoining his sad excuse for a clique.

The sudden tension at their table is so thick he can no longer breathe. It was awesome watching Hofstader crash and burn so spectacularly, but his mind running to fast now to truly acknowledge that it had even happened.

"So…." He glances up, trying to keep the naked hope out of his eyes. She must see it anyway, because the expression she gives him in response is laced with pity. He drops his eyes back to his half-eaten lunch. They sit in silence for the remainder of the meal.

Which is usually what happens anyway.

When she rises to grab her tray and push in her chair, she calls his name. "Hey, Barry." He looks up, despondent now. She sort of smiles to herself and rolls her eyes before continuing. "Robots, huh?" He nods his head.

"And it's awesome," he answers surely, all bravado. At least they're finally back within parameters he knows now.

"I'll think about it," she replies. "See you tomorrow." She pauses. "Save me a seat."

"Really?" he asks with a raised eyebrow.

"It's the best table here." She starts to leave before turning back to face him. "That wasn't so much a compliment to you as it was a slam to everyone else, you know."

"Oh, I know." His grin betrays him and she rolls her eyes again. "See you tomorrow, Leslie."


End file.
